Big Brother Africa ‘All Stars’ (BBA5) recently concluded with my choice winner; Uti. I was ecstatic at his announcement as winner. All dem ‘bad belle’ people (haters) were absolutely gutted; watching their shock was certainly satisfying to Uti lovers and Nigerian BBA5 viewers. It was a moment of pure joy. Uti just had to win. He alone was worthy of the $200,000.00. He was pure fun and entertainment throughout the 91-day viewing period. From doling out insults, to picking quarrels with everyone, peeing in the garden, stealing meals in the middle of the night, swearing and so on. All that just made me love him more. I forgot to mention he is unarguably cute; perfect complexion, medium built, well spoken, well maintained dread locked hair, great dress sense, amazing sense of humour etc. Little wonder he’s an acclaimed local model.
“What’s there to like?” “He is rude” “Very rash” “Aggressive” comment relatives and friends about my darling Uti, but that did not deter my allegiance to ‘loving’ him. An extension of the law of magnetism; like poles repel and unlike poles attract?? The ‘good’ girl ‘bad’ boy relationship/attraction is a widely accepted occurrence.
The woman, more often times than not, tries to convince herself her love for him with alter his ‘bad’ behavior resulting in a positive change. I must admit I have fallen victim of that kind of ‘love’ (never again, BGG*.Amen). I’d share the experience of a close relative. She had fallen head over heels for this boy back at uni who thrived at clubbing, partying, drinking and just hanging out with any female that thought him ‘all that’. Because she was not given to partying/clubbing, he’d often go out alone. Leaving her to deal with the gossips about girls he had flirted with/had ‘something’ with at his various outings. Although she confronted him on some occasions, he’d often dismiss them as trivial and reassure her she was ‘the one’. There was a time she got to know he had wooed a class-mate of hers (while they were still dating), only for him to laugh it off a bet he and his friends played. They were just fooling around, he tried to assure her. Though, she knew he was lying, it was more convenient for her to believe his lies than confront the ugly truth, so she kept padding the relationship in the hope that her faithfulness and unwavering love for boyfriend dearest will ‘save’ him. Long story short, he broke up with her in the most dramatic way, only to apologise a few years later; like that makes things any better.
Question is why do ladies (again, more often than not) relentlessly find excuses for the ill-treatment/behavior of their partners when they know deep within that things are not what they hoped it’d be? Why do we get into or stay in relationships with the hope of changing the other person? When did it become comforting to be addressed as ‘the real thing’ while every other lady is just a fling? Are females just naïve, believing and easily deceived or is this just a case of wrongful hoping?? When is it okay to stick by your man to salvage your relationship and/or when should one throw in the towels and just call it quits; walking out whole before any irreparable damages are done?
Understandably, no one wants to be bitten by the solitary bug, but is that reason enough to indulge cheating partners only to bear the agony/humiliation of such relationships in the long run? For all sistas in such relationships, please remember, your price is far above rubies. Pearls are not given to swines lest they are trampled upon.
*BGG – By God’s Grace
Found this article online whilst compiling this blog http://powertochange.com/experience/sex-love/datingbadboys/