Lord, help me!

Remember how I said I’m looking to being posh again? At the moment that seems implausible thanks to my tech team colleagues and life on the streets of Nigeria. Whether walking or driving, there always seems to be something to curse, scream, hiss at or just roll eyes at!

Why are people on this part of the earth aggression-provoking?? Imagine my alarm the other day when I uttered the f word. Yeah, the 4-letter swear one. I had started out with synonyms/alternatives like ‘shoot’, ‘freak’, ‘frig’ and ‘shit’ – lashing out as loudly as permitted when things were out-of-place, not going as planned or people were just being annoying and then behind the wheels the other day I uttered the abominable. I had said it before I could catch myself.

Feeling like a saint that had just sinned, I began to consciously feel guilty –putting effort into making myself feel bad for what happened. It did not come automatically. Get? It felt right to feel dirty, so I channeled my emotions that route. Feeling comfortable that I had begun the guilt trip, I was chastised by HS dearest: it wasn’t just then that I had sinned, every time I said alternatives were as good at uttering the 4-letter swear word itself! You can’t imagine my shock and neither can words sufficiently capture it.

In lieu of that I have resolved to steer clear away from such utterances, so even when the situation warrants it, my reaction is something like this: a puzzled face, open mouth and hands up in the air.

I prayed for patience the other day and I am beginning to think I shouldn’t have. You know what they say: ask God for patience and He presents you with circumstances that require it (or something in those lines). Since I uttered that prayer I have been faced with countless situations requiring patience.

That, my inability to swear or curse plus the heat waves on this side of the planet is draining my energy and causing frequent headaches. I’d let you in on some of such wearying instances:

😦   I have to obtain a pass each day to park my car and the concierge thinks it best to address me as ‘princess’ or ‘baby’

😦     Need to discuss project details with a lead who insists on doing it over lunch or dinner because he has to ‘toast’ (woo) me first

😦     Driving on my lane and another driver suddenly entering the road at a junction

😦     Drivers creeping on the high way (40km/hr) whilst keeping to the fast lane. I have no problem with you going 20km/hr on the express if you have to, but do it on the slow lane!!

😦     Taxi drivers stopping abruptly in the middle of the road and with no prior warning

Believe me, there is more, a lot more. But for want of energy I’d stop there (reliving the instances is  equally draining). Driving here can be daunting and not having a car even more exhausting.

Circumstances: good and not so good will always occur; our reaction to them is what matters. It either strengthens (improves) our person or takes us back to square one (as my Nigerians say). Set-backs/failure is no reason to seat back and just moan; it should spur us to continually strive to attain our goals of being better humans (better mothers, fathers, friends, managers, colleagues etc)

I really anticipate getting back to posh, and yes, in Nigeria.

P.S With more things to do, activities to coordinate, meetings to attend, report deadlines and still 24 hrs in  a day, I have drawn a reasonable conclusion (for the umpteenth time)- I need an assistant. Enquiries on role description, person specification and applications can be submitted here. 🙂


21 thoughts on “Lord, help me!

  1. LOL@’ Need to discuss project details with a lead who insists on doing it over lunch or dinner because he has to ‘toast’ (woo) me first’
    Unfortunately, that is standard Naija businessmen behaviour. In my experience, majority of Naija businessmen think all women are ‘toast-able’ *hissss*
    Anyway, regarding being ‘posh’. Just remember that ‘posh’ is relative.
    You can develop your own Naija hybrid – delivering acidic put-downs to deserving people (in a lady-like manner).
    I always start off posh and regress to Pidgin English insults when I get really mad i.e. with taxi drivers etc LOL

  2. hahahahahaha!!! I can’t wait to join in the fun!!! OMD, you swore!!! I can just imagine the sound coming from your lips lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Knowing you, they must have really really really provoked you. God is your strength dear…

  3. Hmm, not been back for the last 15 years, wonder how I’ll cope. Or react. On a lighter note, I’m tryna reclaim the posh right where I’m at, lowering my voice instead of hollerin’ at my kids…..God help us all, lol.

  4. that’s naija for you!driving is hell here, the mannerisms on the roads seem to suck you in and before long you become the maniac who raves at another driver…pele! it’s d frustrations of our roads.

    that patience, it’s not small ‘somtin’ o but thine poshness is an aspiration and we shall watch thy progress…lol

  5. that’s naija for you!driving is hell here, the mannerisms on the roads seem to suck you in and before long you become the maniac who raves at another driver…pele! it’s d frustrations of our roads.

    posh o posh, that’s quite an aspiration and we shall watch thy progress…lol

  6. I can bet my life that you’re one of those Nigerians who only went for an Msc in Jand and stayed there for a maximum period of 2 maybe 3 years. You are the ones that always go on and on and on about jand how bad Nigeria is and even worse relocation. That seems to be all your post is about. Please reply and prove me wrong loud hiss.

  7. @timkeen40 Thanks for dropping by. Hope you had a lovely Christmas. Pray you greater achievements in the coming year in Jesus name. Amen.
    @desire So much credit o. MSc? 2 or 3 years? That’s a long tyme. Maybe ’twas just a visiting visa lol. Sorry if the post vexed you. Not my intention at all.There are challenges peculiar to any peoples or location; all I do here is publish my diary as is. Thanks for stopping by. Pray you God’s guidnace and blessings in the coming year.

  8. Lol…this is so funny but so true…it can be frustrating at times in our beloved nig.
    Will be there in a few months, any tips will be appreciated.

  9. I love how real you are…I know I do this sometimes so when I know I am about to say it I freeze but then again…I’ve already said the F-word in my head so just becuase I haven’t said it out loud doesn’t mean God didn’t hear it so I repent quickly rather than being in denial about it. A word not spoken out loud but spoken in ones heart is just as potent as having been spoken out loud. Still a work in progress to guard my tongue. 😀

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