Are you the coming one…?

3 and said to Him, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”Matthew 11:3, NKJV

The question posed by John’s disciples to Jesus.  John’s disciples had no initial trouble believing the legacy of their master; John the Baptist as he heralded the coming of the messiah, conducted His baptism and witnessed the opening of the Heavens with the voice proclaiming Him The beloved son of God (see Matthew 3:16-17). However, with the imprisonment of John and other trials they faced, they began to waver, questioning their initial beliefs.

10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. John 1:10 -11, NKJV

My question then is: How do you recognize ‘the one’?

22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
      “This is now bone of my bones
      And flesh of my flesh…” Genesis 2: 22-23, NKJV

Is there a formula for identifying ‘the one’? A methodology that enhances the probability of selecting or locating ‘the one’? Maybe this should have been my initial question: is there a ‘one’ for every individual? As in you miss that ‘one’ and you can kiss any hopes for finding another goodbye?? Or is this whole ‘one’ thing just a fantasy? Are you to be grateful to get someone willing to stick with you, making the best of your sorry lives together if things are contrary to the fairy tale life you once dreamed?

Been reading another classic by Francine Rivers; Her Mother’s Hope. Although not the focal of the story, she mentions the case of Miss Millicent – a pretty young girl in the early 1900s who turned down the proposal of a certain fine young man (their social standards weren’t at par) and became depressed when she bumped into him and his family on one of her holidays. Worse still, he’d entered parliament by then – a few years after her refusal.

Was she wrong to have refused his offer? Obviously, she did not recognize him as ‘the one’ back then. Does his entrance into parliament then qualify him as ‘the one’?

This brings me back to me original question: how do you recognize ‘the one’? Does s/he walk a certain walk or talk a certain talk? When is it worth considering or pondering on the potentials or when isn’t it worth considering (if ever)? Is ‘the one’ liable to change?

Cases abound of people who had openly declared their joy on finding ‘the one’ only to change their mind after a period of time, proclaiming their quest to ‘look for another’. Does ‘the one’ ever cease being ‘the one’? When? Why?

I know on seeking ‘the one’ the consensus advice is to wait on Him for guidance. Even when you tow that line what signs point to His leading? Are there qualities to look out for? What do you see that says likely and what screams “look for another’?

Admittedly it can be quite challenging identifying ‘the one’ especially when we have carved up images in our heads and subconscious or when we cross check with the list we have come to draw up over the years/based on past experiences or tales we have heard etc – a contributing factor to missing it.

Who’d have thought the savior of the world would be born by an unmarried virgin, in a manger and raised by a carpenter? Or the chosen deliverer of Israel a stammerer, a coward and a murderer? Etc

Like Miss Millicent in Francine Rivers’ novel who realized her one after his marriage to another and the people around the cross that only realised Jesus was the messiah after his crucifixion ( see Matthew 27:54), some suffer the pains and regrets for not recognizing ‘the one’ at the appropriate time.

What we need doesn’t always appear how we expect it to. It can be the same content but in a totally different package. The key is being open to the packaging whilst focusing on the content.

Have you been able to recognize your one or are you awaiting another? Please share your experiences, advice and suggestions. Don’t hesitate to drop a line…

Love loads.

8 thoughts on “Are you the coming one…?

  1. RE: ‘Have you been able to recognize your one or are you awaiting another?’
    The answer is YES.
    I almost got distracted by the superficial brilliance of another ‘suitor’ when I was younger – only to pack my bags and chase ‘the one’ to the UK.
    The beginning was fraught with doubts – about whether I should have stayed in Nigeria and kept my job – but I never doubted that I had made the right choice.
    3 kids and 15+ years later, I truly feel I made the right choice.

  2. ‘The key is being open to the packaging while focusing on the content.’ I think that sums it up. Too many times, it is the other way round, and many discover too late that a glitzy exterior often contains a murky interior.

  3. *sigh* My dear if you ever find the magic formula for identifying “The One”, please send it to me. Having to make the decision on the right life partner is one that scares me. I’m terrified of making the wrong choice. God help us all. I heart your blog and so I’ve tagged you for the Stylish & Versatile blog awards. Please visit my blog to know what you are expected to do!

  4. This question has puzzled me my entire adult life. I’m happy you likenend your illustrations to the bible as it is supposed to guide all our choices. I wonder sometimes why its so difficult for some yet others have clear revelations and never go thru the trial and error phase. *sigh

    BTW, I have nominated you for the Stylish and Versatile Blogger Award please stop over at while you prepare your on your acceptance speech

  5. Nice blog
    Well, I have met the one. I don’t think there’s a formula for meeting the one though. I believe that people have different experiences. In my own case, there was just something different about ‘the one’. There’s just this connection we have that is evident for others to see. We were friends initially, so it wasn’t like the fireworks just started overnight. But over time, we both realised that we were meant for each other. We are compatible on so many levels as well and I feel an inner peace been with him.


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