Much ado about the perfect body shape

 My friends think it hilarious when I rant about working my figure into a perfect 8 (you know, the hour-glass  type shape). I really don’t understand what tickles them at my mention of that. Guess it’s because it usually comes in between bites of shawarma (doner kebab),  a bar  box of chocolate, a meal of fries and southern fried chicken or after a hot meal of amala, ewedu and gbegiri ( gosh that always tastes so good especially with goat  meat or cow leg and is the perfect sedative any day anytime!) Where was I? Yeah, talking about my desired hour-glass figure… Why do chocolates, biscuits and ice cream taste so good? And why do they have to be packed with so many calories? That’s not fair! If only broccoli can taste half as nice of cauliflower and brussel sprouts can be infused with some sort of sweetness.

After all, they say African men like a ‘bit’ of flesh so the increase in size is well accommodated, but, I guess the shapelier the better, huh? You really don’t want to possess an undefined ‘structure’. Besides, it shouldn’t be so hard to get into shape, abi? If only for heart sakes.

So I’ve decided to carry out a research on the various available diets that still accommodate my chocolate bingeing, snacking and with little or no exercise (we can do without all that profuse sweating or rather leave that to sessions in the sauna, better still).

Here are some of my findings… and someone had better be making deposits into my bank account for these endorsements or referrals… lol):


For lazy boneslike me trying to get into shape  *wink*You can continue to eat all your favorite foods and still lose weight. Just sprinkle SENSA® onto your meals and snacks to safely and effectively lose weight without feeling deprived†

nmbw says: I likey…sprinkle it on my chocolates and I still lose weight? *thumbs up*

3-day diet


Drink 4 glasses of water or diet soda per day.

You can add herbs, salt, pepper, lemon, vinegar, Worcestershire, soy sauce, mustard & ketchup to your foods.



Black Coffee or Tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal

1/2 Grapefruit or Juice

1 Toast with 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter


1/2 Cup of Tuna

1 Toast

Black Coffee or Tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal


3 Oz. any lean meat or chicken

1 cup green beans

1 cup carrots

1 apple

1 cup regular vanilla ice cream



black coffee or tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal

1 Egg

1/2 Banana

1 Toast


1 cup cottage cheese or tuna

8 regular saltine crackers


2 beef franks

1 cup broccoli or cabbage

1/2 cup carrots

1/2 banana

1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream



black coffee or tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal

5 regular saltine crackers

1 oz. cheddar cheese

1 apple


1 boiled egg

1 toast

black coffee or tea w/1-2 packets of Sweet & Low or Equal


1 cup tuna

1 cup carrots

1 cup cauliflower

1 cup melon

1/2 cup regular vanilla ice cream

nmbw says: Boring… more like a death sentence. Starvation army…

7-Day Diet:


All the fruit you want except banana


All the vegetables you want *you can use soy sauce, vinegar or mustard


All the fruit & vegetables you want.


5 bananas with 5 glasses of milk


4 (3 oz beef/chicken or fish steaks) with fresh vegetables


4 (3 oz. beef steaks) with fresh vegetables


4 (3 oz. beef steaks) with fresh vegetables

nmbw says: all you can eat indeed! Fruits and veggies, seriously?

The Fit food handbook:


Tim Ferris

Rule #1: Avoid “white” carbohydrates

Avoid any carbohydrate that is — or can be — white. The following foods are thus prohibited, except for within 1.5 hours of finishing a resistance-training workout of at least 20 minutes in length: bread, rice, cereal, potatoes, pasta, and fried food with breading. If you avoid eating anything white, you’ll be safe.

nmbw says: what have you left to eat then? Especially in a country like Nigeria. Is the aim of every diet to starve you??

Rule #2: Eat the same few meals over and over again

The most successful dieters, regardless of whether their goal is muscle gain or fat loss, eat the same few meals over and over again. Mix and match, constructing each meal with one from each of the three following groups:

Egg whites with one whole egg for flavor
Chicken breast or thigh
Grass-fed organic beef

Black beans
Pinto beans

Mixed vegetables

Rule #3: Don’t drink calories

Drink massive quantities of water and as much unsweetened iced tea, tea, diet sodas, coffee (without white cream), or other no-calorie/low-calorie beverages as you like. Do not drink milk, normal soft drinks, or fruit juice.

Rule #4: Take one day off per week

He recommends Saturdays as your “Dieters Gone Wild” day. Eat whatever you want on Saturdays, and you can go out of your way to eat ice cream, Snickers, Take 5, and all of your other vices in excess.

That’s that about diets. I would like to publicize my ‘brother’s’ newest project; Declaring His Name All Around The World. If you have listened to Restoration, Declaring His Power, and Declaring His Love or were present at the live concert in Indigo at the O2, you might share my excitement. The CD is out and available for grabs on amazon. An excerpt of an interview with bro Riversongz himself.

2 thoughts on “Much ado about the perfect body shape

  1. I never check calories, I just eat and do the maths in my head! Plenty fruits, protein, long walks and im good to go! It may not be the perfect weight loss plan but it helped shed 2 dress sizes so *shrug*.
    Exercise is something I need to try out though… at least for my heart! *sigh*

    (Been awhile since I last came here, how are you?)

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