Male or Female

I don’t think God relates with us as male or female. I think all are same in His sight; male or female. The blood of Jesus probably makes the difference; who’s saved, who’s not. And for the saved, He probably sees us all in the same light and loves us the same notwithstanding; man or woman, adult or child, Asian or African etc. I really do not think He concerns Himself with male/female/gender issues when relating with us. However, I’m not sure He is as silent when it comes to other areas. Sexual preferences, for instance. (You weren’t expecting that? Lol). How do I know?

24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

28 Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. 32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

Romans 1: 24 – 32 (New Living Translation)

From the above passages it is glaring God is interested in who you’re ‘doing it’ with. Yeah… Now whether or not it is legit is between both of you (you and God, my hand no dey for that matter!). But, yes, in matters of the bedroom (or wherever), God is particular about gender; male or female. (Let’s keep it at the human level, no need to introduce inanimate objects and other creatures….that’s just off and an heightened degree of perversion. The passages above also apply).

To what propelled this post: I stumbled on a blog yesterday; something about child abuse. Although, the article was engaging, what got me thinking was a comment from a lady. childabuseThis lady was quick to identify with the perils of child abuse; narrating how she was a victim. As a child, she was molested by a female relative and now that has affected her sexual preferences. Even though married, she says she has to keep a girlfriend by the side.

This reminded me of the times an older cousin called me to play with her. It was at my grandmother’s and it was normal for children my age then to play husband and wife, cookery etc. This cousin only liked to play husband and wife… on the mat… at night. She would curl up under the sheets next to me and put her hand in my panties. I didn’t know what she was doing. child_abuse_leadThose were my formative years. I was still discovering myself. I didn’t know there were boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. I didn’t know that act was sexual. I didn’t know to report it either. It was a cousin too close and nice to be harmful. I just knew she kept doing it and I went on to try it with another relative. Both females. Thankfully, yes, thankfully, I do not share the lady in the article’s feelings. Although I found myself attracted to females at some point and tended to sexual misconduct in the years that followed, I found Jesus, or rather, Jesus found me and redeemed me from the sexual immorality I had found myself.

This piece is not aimed at condemning anyone or judging, but, if you know that you do not want your children, sister, brother, niece, nephew, cousin etc. telling the same tale as the lady in the article, then, we as parents/guardians need to be a little more proactive and more attentive to our wards.

For those who don't know or need to be enlightened

For those who don’t know or need to be enlightened

  • Pay (more) attention to your wards
  • Be concerned about the games they play, with whom they play, where? How? And so on
  • Spend time with your children/wards (listen to them, their choice of words, reactions to people and environments, facial expressions, body language etc.
  • Be approachable. Let them know (not just words alone, show it) that they can trust you to defend and protect them
  • It’s never too early to have the sex talk. If you don’t do it, someone else will ‘teach’ them what you should have told them to avoid and then damage would have been done…to you both…
  • Talk to them about their bodies. What parts are public and what parts are private (where no one else, but them, have control over or access to). What touches are okay, what touches are not okay, boundaries that should never be crossed by strangers (house helps, neighbours, relatives etc.) 10-Guidelines-To-Protect-Your-Child-From-Sexual-Abuse
  • Teach them privacy and respect their privacy (teach them to understand it’s not okay for someone else to watch you while bathing or dressing up, when they’re old enough, they should be the ones washing their private parts themselves and not one aunty or uncle etc.)
  • Where domestic staff have their pros, please limit their physical interaction with your wards! Also pay attention to your child’s body language around your helps! Check on your staff and wards without notice or warning. Please no playing with children under the sheets, in dark places or behind closed doors.
  • The lesson teachers etc. should not be left out too! Do impromptu checks during lesson periods. Ask questions about the lesson; not just the academic part, EVERYTHING!
  • Find out how their day went; who said what? Who did what? Yes they played, but how? With whom? Know your ward; study their body language. Know how to decode when something is wrong.
  • Don’t dismiss any allegation. Look into everything. Never let work, career, church etc. top the wellbeing of your wards. If you discover an erring uncle or aunty at any point, no matter how useful/helpful that person may be, PLEASE, do not hesitate to make the right decisions, for the wellbeing and future of that child! I can’t count the number of people (from stories read/heard) that have been deeply scarred and some totally ‘lost’ from childhood sexual abuse. May God help us all.

    Please DO NOT ignore these signs

    Please DO NOT ignore these signs

I’d like to know your opinions, please drop a line or 2 in the comment section…thanks

Photo Credits: Google Images

Other Resources:

http://www.colorlines.com/content/what-you-need-know-about-childhood-sexual-abuse

https://publichealthwatch.wordpress.com/2015/04/16/school-based-programs-key-in-preventing-child-sexual-abuse-study-finds/

http://www.channing-bete.com/human-services/child-sexual-abuse-prevention.html

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