I got misunderstood by someone last night and as much as I tried to clear the air, the person kept putting holes in my explanations. I tried to stay calm; practising all the emotional intelligence I have heard/read, but, no o, this person reeeeeally tried me.
When I could not take it anymore, I blurted out certain words, said goodnight and hung up. Afterwards, I sat by myself and worked my mind to the point I believed I had forgiven and was at peace (you know the feeling of ‘if Jesus should come now, I’m free enough to make Heaven’). In addition, I try to live the Ephesians 4:26 principle of the sun not going down on your wrath, so I strive to settle every grudge (at least, in my mind) before the dawning of a new day. So, as far as I was concerned, there were no further issues to be resolved, I had forgiven the person and moved on. Or, so I thought till the Holy Spirit asked me to apologise. Kai! I struggled. I really struggled. Thought of a thousand and one reasons not to, but, the impression was too strong to ignore. So, reluctantly, I sent a message saying “I’m sorry”. And it hurt! It hurt, so bad….I was angry at God. Why did I have to apologise when I was the one slighted. Why didn’t God tell the other person to apologise for all the hurtful things said. I was offended, I did not have to be the one to apologise, not at all!