February 29th

So it’s Day 2 of this rather boring Induction Programme at work and apart from one presentation on Civil Service Conduct and Ethics, all I’ve managed to achieve is two days off sitting at a desk typing Internal Memos, not signing receipts of correspondence and not being accused of chilling at my desk and keeping to my unit (apparently, there’s a culture about civil service and office visitations/rounds). At this induction, sleep is very much welcome and condoned; especially, for peeps like me, sitting behind. It’s times like this, I bless the makers of smartphones and the God that made one available to me. Having a mobile tablet in addition would have been bliss, pure bliss.

So here I am @ 11:10am wondering if I would have been better off cuddled under a duvet, watching a movie and sipping some kinda chocolate drink.

Talking movies, I saw a rather sick one two days ago where a boy dropped dead jerking off on a tree outside his school mate’s house as he watched the mother sleep. The woman feel unconscious after hitting her head against the bathroom tiles as she shagged her neighbour. Robbers discover and play the tape mistakenly recorded while the woman and her neighbour did their business to the family(now held hostage). Also, it was later-on discovered that the woman was also screwing the neighbour’s teenage son! Sick, that one, isn’t it? And NO, it wasn’t porn!

Got a nagging headache at the moment. I really just want to lie somewhere and sleep. Plus, I’m seriously craving ice-cream, shawarma (doner kebab), chocolates and vanilla sponge cake with butter icing. Don’t ask if I’m pregnant 🙂

Gotta get back to listening, or rather, feigning attentive, before I get called on to answer some ridiculous question.

Good day peeps!
Lotta Love…

MENstruation!

Lose that disgusted look on your face, abegi!
I’m not about to bore you with the female hormones, nomenclature and all that ovary and egg biz associated with the female specie on a monthly basis… the biology teacher did well on that and if you missed that class, click here. On the contrary this post is a heart cry; an uncensored out pour, a vehement expression of a single Nigerian 20 something young lady earnestly anticipating a relationship with another single bloke.

That’s no big deal?? Well, I didn’t think so either till I got a sneak peek of a world I never knew existed. Come with me:
I’m a Christian girl and try to live a Godly lifestyle (meaning sometimes, I err, but grateful His love restores me without condemnation of any sort)

In my late 20s; will be 30 in 2 ticks and the youngest of 3 children (thankfully). So, I don’t get the “When are you getting married?” question outrightly except from nosey ‘aunties’ (the ones that try to make your case seem really pathetic declaring it’s high time one moved into her husband’s or they use it as an intro to suggest/recommend their son, nephew, cousin etc…like one has no other options and they were doing you a favour). However, most relatives think it’s the right prayer to offer for me at every given opportunity; family devotions, family functions, holidays etc and even over dinner (now I exaggerate…lol).

I am single in all ramifications; unmarried and boyfriendless. Now that I can deal with on its own (not for too long sha o) but when that begins to affect other areas of my life, it becomes annoying. For instance, I can’t own certain specs of cars now because “it may drive potentials away!” Oluwa o! I was livid when my mother said that to me the other day. I’m single not disabled or handicapped! Why should that inhibit anyone’s lifestyle!! Deep sigh

So you ask “Do you have toasters?” Well, I need you to define that clearly before I can give a suitable answer. Seriously! I’m not messing because right now, I don’t understand this ‘toasting’ business anymore. When a married man consistently appeals for a relationship with him – is that toasting? Or would you call it toasting when a male calls you frequently, buys gifts, remembers special days and treats you special even though he has other ‘special’ friends? Is toasting when a man bluntly asks a lady to be a ‘friend with benefits’ while promising exquisite gifts and exotic travels? Or would he be classed to be a toaster because he is currently separated from his wife and he’s decided to explore the post university crush he had for me? Someone please help define toasting in these contemporary times.

The other day, a friend called me weird because he said all these sweet things and I didn’t budge. Now, how could I? He is very much married with children and despite his estranged relationship with his wife, fact remains that they are still legally bound by law (he still wears his wedding band). Don’t get it twisted, I’d love to hear all that sweet stuff but from a single eligible young man! I can’t be feeling ‘toasted’ with another woman’s property…that’s just wrong mehn! All that secret love and coded meetings??? Long thing mahn, seriously long! There’s better use of my bond skills abeg!

Why is life unfair attimes? What you want you don’t get and what you’d rather not keeps trailing you! Interpretation: why can’t the men you like just like you back? Why are they not the ones constantly calling, pinging, twitting and requesting to spend time with you? Why aren’t they the ones declaring and confessing undying love for you and seeking to spend their days with you??? Why??

Again, I sigh.

My consolation is that there is a God in Heaven…able to do ALL….making ALL things beautiful in His time. Therefore, my heart isn’t worried. Neither is it sick…I know my Redeemer liveth…I got a hope and an expected end…ALL things work together for my good 🙂

P.S. Someone please send me the memo for the next ‘single male convention’ or whatever gathering of eligible single men that exists.