So I walk into MANGO yesterday attracted by the large bright red neon sign that read “70% off everything” and headed straight to that section (yeah yeah I love reductions and I’m one to chase after SALES, scouting clothing stores during sale seasons to patiently discover lovely items even from disorganized racks like T.K. Maxx on a weekend. I’m most ecstatic when I find my size in that item I have stalked all season at an alarming 75% off! It’s often the most exhilarating moment of the day 🙂 ). Anyway, back to my MANGO experience. Browsing through the neatly arraigned racks as quickly and professionally as I know aw to (as an ardent sale-a-holic;  looking to grab a choice pick before the next shopper, stopping for a few seconds to analyse the different prints, patterns and cuts of fabrics that now adorn Abuja streets as must-haves, I instinctively categorize the pieces in my usual genres: “Love it!”, “Not bad”, “Huh?”, “Did someone actually design this?”, and “Do people actually wear this?”. At the end of my 5-minute scout, I have in my hands two tops; both in small sizes. Though I am most certain these tops will fit, I ask the sales attendant for directions to the changing rooms – just so I can utilize the full length mirror to prep and touch up for the evening ahead.

While in the changing room I decided to try on the tops anyway; I needed to see in reality the gorgeous image my mind had visualised, plus I had time to kill as I had arrived the mall way earlier than my ‘appointment’.

Words cannot adequately express what I felt as I struggled to fit into the first top. Even my arms fought to find room in the sleeves.  How I feared for the perfectly sewn stitches. The fabric looked like it had been overly stretched and would give way if put under any farther pressure. “I must have taken an S”, “or did I grab an XS mistakenly?” I thought as I doggedly forced the top on. Talk about shantgrees, uh? With the top finally on, I stare at the mirror in disappointment as the image I see is millions of miles far from the perfect fit I had imagined but I would have been spot-on had I ever imagined fitting into my 5-year-old niece’s top. That ridiculous. Believe me.

Now this should not have been as ‘disheartening’ as it turned out to be if I had considered my earlier experience and accepted the facts that starred me in the face that morning.

About 10 hours before then, I had spent extra seconds forcing on a pair of jeans and another 25 minutes deciding on what top/shirt to wear as all my fitted shirts in size 6 were way too small and even the free fitting size 8 ones were now appearing fitted. *sigh*

Next Exit? Yeah, right!

Dispelling the thought of change seemed easier. We always repel change don’t we?  “I am still small” I forced myself to believe, it’s probably the fabric shrinking after being washed, or the weather’s shrunk the fabric and so on. Why is it always easier to push the blame and remain in our age-long cocoons rather than accept the facts, embrace the change(s) and act accordingly?

We are often quick to preach change being the only constant thing in life to business partners, clients, colleagues, neighbours, spouses and other relatives, but when it stares us in the face, we forget the message we herald, put on a façade and garner up all the weapons in our arsenal to fight it tooth and nail. 

So I’m fuller figured than I was 2 months ago, big deal? Who says beauty lies in single numbered dress sizes? Yes people like CA can dare to use ‘pig’ as a simile to my new look but there are people like Wonderful Mayo constantly checking me out and begging me to maintain this new shape. Sincerely, I kinda love my new curves as I confessed to Adekemi, but the thought of not being addressed as small any longer keeps me in denial.

Change is necessary to move us into our next level.

The story is told of 2 grocery giants in the 50’s; A&P and Kroger both faced with changing times in technologies of the 60’s. While the former stuck to the traditional way of operations it had always known, the later on the other hand embraced the changes; realigning business strategy and operations accordingly in order to thrive on these changes. As a result, Kroger became US’s leading grocery chain by 1999 generating profit eighty times that of its onetime competitor A&P!

Imagine what would have been of Ruth if she stayed in Moab and rejected the change of moving into a new country with her mother-in-law – no one would be reading of her, talk less of naming their children after her thousands of years afterwards. Or Peter if he hadn’t changed profession from catching fish to being a “fisher of men”. Or even Daniel and the 3 Hebrew boys if all they did when they found themselves in captivity was wail, sulk and mop rather than seize the opportunity to make a mark in a strange land that eventually led to the king’s public declaration of their God and Faith.

Where I can spend my next earnings investing in a good gym and personal trainer, excruciating physical activities and denying myself of all the good meals the various Chinese and Thai restaurants in town have to offer just to lose a dress size, I have decided to spend the money shopping for clothes and accessories that complement my new size – keeping an eye on the 60kg mark of the scale, though (healthy weight for my height and age- BMI right?) as I don’t wanna fall in the obese and unhealthy part of life either.

The stages of change continuum. Adapted from DiClemente and Prochaska, 1998

Change is inevitable. You either embrace it and channel energy into making the best out of it or you fight against it and maintain status-quo; affecting few people or nobody, making little or no positive effects and inhibiting your maximum potential. You have been created for more, reach out and be all you were made for.

 Love Always.

9 thoughts on “Metamorphosis

  1. LOL @ “I needed to see in reality the gorgeous image my mind had visualized”. Yeah i know exactly what you are speaking about. I was so much in denial that I bought an extremely tight top and convinced myself that it was tight because I just ate…A year later I had to give that top to my slimmer sister.

      • Hey Tnx for the thumbs up. Can I tell you? I mean I will see a pair of CUTE shoes in a small size and then when I search for it in my size (way bigger) it aint cute. LOL.

  2. This is so funny…these days (that I’m no longer @small@) I say small/slim/skinny is overrated and I now buy clothes to fit me and not the other way round….

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