The Tale Of The Rolling Bum

I don’t even know how to start this one. but I will….somehow.

Was in church the other day and couldn’t concentrate on worship – much as I tried, I found myself getting distracted. Not normal distractions like what to have for lunch after service, or wondering if that brother came to church, not even the ones of ladies with lovelier outfits than what I had on, nor hairstyles and trying to guess what weave is Brazilian, Peruvian, Indian originals or just mere Remy and Miss Rola wanna bes and neither were they distractions of fashion styles or colour matches I had to quickly memorize for my next visit to the tailors or the next time my friends and I wanna play dress up. This had nothing to do with a wandering mind – it didn’t have to wander to be this distracted as the cause was there staring rolling right at me.
This lady was wearing a tailored skirt – perfectly fitting her contours; which wouldn’t have been anything near disastrous by itself until the music started playing and she started moving. And that was when some bit of hell broke loose. And the distraction was birthed. Haba! Sister! how could you! She was rolling her behind without caution or restriction of any sort. I am an ardent believer of worshipping God freely – with your entire heart, soul, mind and strength, but after this experience, I now solicit that it should be done considerably. That is, ensuring your moves do not cause your ‘brother’ to sin. And remembering you are on Holy grounds – not your bedroom or wherever such provocative moves are allowed. Although worship sessions are often paraphrased Holy Ghost parties, the emphasis should be more on HOLY, HOLY GHOST than ‘party’.
No, really, I exaggerate not. This girl needed to have been cautioned. If as a girl, I was this perplexed. I wonder how the dudes that saw that felt. There was this married man seated next to me and I could tell that he was every bit uncomfortable. No… that girl worked her behind so much that if it wasnt properly attached to the rest of her body would have dropped or something else would have popped. Really. If only I had a recording,  maybe then you would appreciate the gravity of this situation.

Or am I being overtly dramatic, as usual? I’d like to hear your thoughts please.